Author: Joyce De Ridder

Greatest lesson learned in Slovakia

When Joe Ann and I returned to the U.S. in 2009, after 12 years in Slovakia, we were asked by our pastor one Sunday morning, “What was the greatest lesson you learned in your years in Slovakia?” We both had an answer without having to think about it. I said, “God’s timing.” Joe Ann said, “Waiting on God.” They were two different ways of saying the same thing.

In some cases God answered prayers that we prayed for people and for certain things to develop after we were there for several years. Other prayers He answered after we left Slovakia and even some since Joe Ann’s death. We were often in a hurry but God was never in a hurry. We were thinking about what we wanted to accomplish and He was knowing what He would accomplish. God has his own timetable and purpose in what He does. At times our task was to till the soil. At other times to plant seeds, water, or pull weeds. It was not often to harvest.

God is always at work in His way and, as I get ready to return to Slovakia soon, I am eager to see what He has been doing there in these intervening 13 years.

In addition to learning what has changed in people’s lives there, I know I will have opportunity to give a testimony of God’s work in my own life when attending churches, meeting with groups, and sharing time with families and individuals one-on-one. Since those times will be comparatively short because I may see some people just once and will only be in Slovakia for four weeks, I want what I share with people to be meaningful. Consequently, I have been giving it some thought. Of course, I will say different things to different people, but today I want to tell you about one of the most important lessons I learned in returning to the United States.

Greatest lesson learned in returning to the U.S.

Here it is. It was easier to be focused on and committed to God’s purpose in my life when I was in Slovakia than it was in returning to the U.S. Why do I say that? Because we were in a foreign country and we went there for a reason. Every morning as I sat at the kitchen table in our apartment in Banska Bystrica and looked out of the window to the apartment buildings across from us, I thought (and sometimes said aloud to Joe Ann), “If we are not sharing God’s Word and His love in what we say and how we live, then we have no business being here.” That kept me focused and single-minded.

When I came back to the U.S. it was hard to keep that focus on a daily basis. After all, I was in my own country and I thought “I have every right to be here. I was born here. This is my country.” So, I was often distracted and drawn away by a variety of interests and activities that caused me to miss opportunities and forget about the priority of communicating God’s Word and being like Jesus in what I said and did.

However, not long after we returned to the U.S. and settled in Amarillo, Texas, we found new avenues of minstry and recaptured some of our focus and sense of purpose. The years there were good for both Joe Ann and me in many ways.

Then, in 2012 we returned to Michigan and settled again in Holland. Joe Ann was 80 years old and I was 70. With increasing age and decreasing energy, we both had to assess again what kind of life we would live. Joe Ann began to see individuals in our home and work with them. We served together on the Global Outreach Committee at Calvary Baptist Church. I was involved for a few years in our Christian school administration and in some teaching. My last assignment from the Lord was to be Joe Ann’s caregiver for a couple of years.

Now, at 81, I remind myself again that my life is not my own and I have no right to “do my own thing” just because I am getting older. Without a doubt, life is different and ministry is different but what isn’t differnt is the obligation and joy to give Jesus priority in my day to day life and accept what God has next for me. I am beginning to get a glimpse of it.

I received a letter from hospice this week about the soon-to-be first anniversary of Joe Ann’s death. It included a paragraph stating that the time leading up to that date is often packed with more feelings than the actual date of a loved one’s death. Although it is not yet June 2nd, I expect that is true.

Since Easter I have been reliving so much of what took place in the last six weeks of Joe Ann’s life because during that time she said good-bye to five people who held a very special place in her heart and life and who traveled from Colorado, Maine, and Texas to spend time with her.

As I remember the three visits beginning with the first one on the Easter weekend, I recall the anticipation in their coming and the experience of their time with us – conversations, meals shared together, laughter, tender embraces, and poignant moments. I can picture the card table at the end of her hospital bed in the living room with chairs on three sides so that we could eat together.

The day after the last visitors left and drove home to Texas, I got up in the morning and found Joe Ann nonresponsive. She had had a stroke in the night. They had all been here at the right time and they and I have sweet memories of those visits.

There were others who came in that last week to sit by her bed, sing to her, read to her, speak to her, pray with her, and say good-bye. I believe she heard all of them. Then there were the three who were seated with me in the living room when she left us shortly after noon on June 2nd. How precious are those memories too.

During these same weeks when I have been recalling Joe Ann’s end of life here on earth, I have been anticipating my first trip back to Slovakia since 2010. I am feeling a bit of sadness because it will be without Joe Ann and I imagine that everyone I see will feel it too. However, the balance of my feelings is weighted on the side of joy and excitement as a look forward to reunions with so many friends in several cities.

My ticket is puchased and suitcase is out. My packing list is made. Some of the items I will take have been checked off already. Although I never spoke Slovak fluently, I am brushing up on the little Slovak I knew.

I am sorting through pictures to create a photo gallery of “then” photos to but on this blog site before I leave and looking forward to adding new “now” photos when I return.

Vanessa, who spent so much time with us during our early years in Slovakia, is traveling with me. I will have opportunity to see her again participating in the children’s English camp in Stola, where she was its first director in 2000. Children I knew then now have children of their own.

As the calendar of my time in Slovakia fills up, I look forward to a time of both remembering and creating new memories.